Last night, everything got mixed up. What was supposed to be my night out turned into an exercise in waiting. (Why is waiting always so hard?!) When my moment of freedom finally came, it was too late to make it to Ladies Night so I packed up my journal and headed to the coffee shop instead.
I like to meet God at the coffee shop. I open up my journal and pour my heart out to Him. I speak to Him of all my deepest aches and He meets me there.
Last night, I felt like he told me to go to a new place, so I drove my car there and found a NEW coffee shop - with better seats and places for writing! I love the little things. :) I sat down and felt a pull to read the end of Acts 4. There, I found the newly formed Church. I found believers in God who were being persecuted and arrested. I found this prayer as they reached out to God in their need:
"'Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.' After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly." Acts 4: 29-31
Oh man, I want that. I want to live boldly and see God move in signs and wonders! I think God wants that for me too.
It's never been easy for me to share my feelings. As a child, I bottled them up until they all came exploding out of me at once in rage and tears. As an adult, I've had to work really hard to open up and have healthy relationships. When I read those words about the believers praying and moving in boldness, I felt like my God whispered something new into my heart. A challenge. A scary adventure. I felt like He told me to start writing a blog. That one that'd been sitting in my brain for a while but I would never actually create on my own. About Him. About this call that I've felt on my heart to live a life of truth, aware that I am dust. And so this is Dusty Women, a place to explore life and the messy beauty that happens when the pain of this world intersects the power and love of God's Kingdom. It's not a place for those who have it all figured out or who want to play the "who is more valuable/important/stylish/whatever" game. I don't have all the answers, but want to learn and keep growing in wisdom everyday that I have on this earth.
"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him." Psalm 103:13-17
